its 4-0 for me...goodness! when will i learn my lessons about this stuff? i messed up my life big time!and it seems like im not taking it seriously..(im talking love life f.y.i).i already warned myself about this..and now my heart is paying for it all.when will i be smiling bout this? if only i could be there for him and embrace him..i would do it.but i cant. a lot of things are scattered on my way to be with him..and as much as i want to fight, it's tearing me down..impossibility is a big word for my situation.that's why im having a hard time figuring things out.no one can help me now except for myself..how long do i have to suffer in this pain?it's summer and i wanna have fun..but thoughts of this heartache is pulling me back to the feeling when im solving trigonometry problems! its even worse! and now im playing "when you look me in the eyes" by the jonas brothers..while i was crying about it a while ago..i calmed down easily then out of nowhere this song played on the radio.then i asked god "nang aasar ka ba talga?".i contiuously crying until i said "that's enough.you've been crying a lot." well i stopped thank god. but the feeling's still there.it will never fade.not in my heart. i know some of DODELS know what im talking about.(but not all of them.)jheez what have i done to myself?im putting pressures in my life..so much of them.not to mention the pressure that's been putted by other people..it's covering my happiness.<sighs> i wish god could just take me now and bring me back when my heart's whole again.